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Here I Am Here I Am Broken. Another painful tear ridden morning. How did I get here? The disillusionment of my childhood has long gone. The disillusionment of happiness and splendor in the grass has long faded from me. I find myself alone and broken with nowhere and no one to turn to. No one there for me when I need it most. The painful days and the lonely nights are all I have anymore. What used to be a bright beautiful person is now a hollow semblance of my former self. I cant seem to find my way back. This life has been good to me with many struggles but Ive always had the strength and willpower to survive. The strength and willpower to put on that face and smile. Something has robbed me of my joy. After being alone so many years I find myself desperate, desperate to find myself again. I need the reassurance, the strength, the soft comfort of someone who truly cares. I need a hero. My life has been spiraling out of my control. These days have become more difficult, difficult to look out my window and see the unmown yard, the weed ridden garden, the broken me. I only see what I used to be, a fun loving happy successful person with so much to look forward to each day. How did I get here? What did I do to deserve this pain? The pain of the physical and the pain of the mind. I sit and wonder where I went wrong, which path lead me here? How did things get so out of control. Was it something I did to deserve all this? Am I being punished for having to big of dreams? Now my dreams are in the past, the things that used to bring me joy now just bring me sorrow. The day to day struggles are to much to see, to much to bear. I have always lived my life with much expectation and with a true faith, but now my faith has dwindled. I find myself lost, lost with no lifeline. I often wish I would have settled down years ago, took a husband and became one of those people I see every day. I guess that would have been easier looking back. Easier to have someone there for me. Someone to take care of me. I really did think I could do it all myself and did for many years. The one who took care of other people and always had a kind word to say or a dollar to give with no expectations. Look where that has gotten me. Now I find myself broken, my spirit, my well being and my to see that bright light at the beginning of each day. I find myself alone and broken. I pray that things will come around, that things will be what I know they can be but I cant do this alone anymore. The pressure to be that someone I once was, that smiling face with a genuine love of life. I have been looking everywhere I go for that one person to give this back to me. That one person who can and will be my hero. I dont ask for much, I am not a high maintenance person. I enjoy the simple things in life. Its the constant worry and struggle to make it through each day without this pain, this emptiness in my heart and soul. I find myself in a constant state of sadness. A constant state of need. There is a part of me missing and I am desperately searching for myself. What kind of deal have I been dealt? Will something or someone ever be there for me to bring the joy back in my life? The tears has become bucketfuls of pain and I dont even recognize myself anymore. What used to be such a fun loving and beautiful person has escaped me. I write this hoping that there is someone out there with as much love and compassion as I once had. Someone to make it all better, someone to fix me and my broken self. So here I am waiting for you, waiting for you to rescue me from this pain. Waiting for you to help me up. I desperately want to be the person I truly am, the person who greets each day with a smile and a great sense of wonder and amazement, my true self. The person who has that spark, the one who has that glow of happiness and love in their heart and soul, the person I used to be. I have so much left to give in this life. So much that is hidden by this pain and sorrow. I know my hero is out there somewhere. I just hope that I am found before the tears take what is left of me. So here I am.

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to the original poster of "M" I'm sure I know who this is now. My only question is, why did you post this asking if there was still a chance, then go back and beautiful housewives looking sex personals free dating service change it saying I'm a bad person? I'm a bad person because I left you for treating me like shit? Yes, I know I fucked up too, but you were no .You're a coward. If you have shit to say to me, you have my number. Confront me instead of hiding behind . This kind of immaturity and cowardliness is what made me loose respect for you in the first place. GROW UP!

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