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420 friends! w4m Hello 420 friends and family! I'm runnin a little desperate, it's 4:20 and I'm out! Anyone wanna hang out?

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Kink and Romance, can they coexist? An acquaintance once said to me that one of the main accomplishments of the BDSM community was to develop a very precise vocabulary for describing sexual incompatibility, much like a botanist classifying the thirteen varieties of moss that grow under a particular sort of rock along the Mississippi river.

Life is full of various types of package deals. Spend your time hanging with finance types and you are liable to develop (a) a detailed knowledge of the geography of the clubs in Lower Manhattan, (b) an ability to talk in excruciating detail about your golf swing, and (c) a closet full of shirts from J. McLaughlin and Thomas Pink, with extra 2 extra points for every red Mount Gay Rum baseball cap or polo shirt which you actually wore playing polo, a fact with which you will no doubt regale any person who blunders into one of your Tanqueray-scented anecdotes.

Conversely, if you go out actively in search of folks who are not timid about admitting that they find the selection of sex toys at Sexworld to be generally inferior to the contents of the hardware aisle at Home Depot, you tend to end up with a whole 'nother sort. Sometimes it seems like there is a competition going to not merely be at peace with your inner weird, but to fold it in upon itself until it threatens a collapse of the time-space continuum. Thus we proceed from "I enjoy being tied up and spanked" to "I'm a progressive genderqueer polyamorous Old Order druid service submissive (to males only, I'm dominant with women). I am also a raw vegan."

Just to be clear, I am wholly-supportive of peoples' right to be every bit as weird as they want. I'm kinky and would get bored to tears having nothing but ordinary sex with my partner, even frequently, just as I love pizza and sushi, but couldn't eat them every day. Maybe it's a psychological defect or personal weakness. But, given that when I was 8 years old I tended to play games that involved the loser getting tied up and spanked (and I always won, even if I had to cheat), I'm pretty sure an appreciation for Dominance and bondage is in the primary wiring, and I don't want to end up tap-dancing in an airport stall like a certain family-man senator.

But, I'm also quite comfortable being largely vanilla, outwardly speaking. You can take the boy out of the prep school but you can't take the prep school out of the boy, and while I don't own a boat, I do golf...poorly., and I generally look hopefully forward to a life full of bourgeois satisfactions like love, marriage, family, and perhaps a nice house in a place with good schools and a very spacious basement for... storage. I'm also, and this is a constant dealbreaker, utterly, hopelessly monogamous, and not just because I can't get past my residual bourgeois morality. It's just the place in a relationship where I feel at peace.

I was going to write that this post is in some sense misleading because in a way it's all about weird sex, and that's not the point. But, I guess in some sense that's objectively false. I haven't talked about how I love spicy foods, foreign languages, nature photography, why I think the movie "Babel" was a steaming pile of pretentious dreck, the fact that I bake a hell of a cake, or any number of things that I might put on a Match.com profile if I were so inclined. Of course, if you've got enough of these perverted neurons rattling around in your skull, you may have found that the first problem isn't finding people who you can have an interesting conversation with, but finding emotionally-healthy people who you can have both an interesting conversation *and* who will rape you while you roleplaying daddy daughter with a pacifier in your mouth can be hard to come by, but for better or worse, you're not ready to settle for just one of the above.

Anyway, for those still with me, I'm 29, SWM, 6'3", living in the Twin Cities, professionally successful, and I approve this message.